It’s as Gray a Day…

as I can remember. The rain has been falling for hours while the cats sleep it all away on the living room floor. A ceiling fan quietly twists and hums through its duties and the irregular drops of water tap on the windows like lost children.

There are things to do today. In fact there’s a lot to do. Why people want to be in such a hurry to get out in the “real” world puzzles me. The chores, the things you do because you have to and the people you have to deal with are hardly any fair payment in return for being able to vote and walk into a liquor store. Work, at least work as it has become, is what happened when the world fell from its former grace. Its part of what some folks call the “curse” of the days beyond Eden and it has meaning only because the goodness of those days still somehow finds a way to shine through the cracks in the wall around the garden.

We were designed to be Farmers and Priests, caretakers of the good world given to us and singers of praise to its Maker. Now we live in cubicles, try to make our way through the gibberish, and if not by the sweat of our brow we make our way through the years by the sweat of our soul. Adam had no axe, there was no disfigurement to prune away, no death to remove from its place, no need even for a fire in the warmth of God’s life. Yet all that is past now. The tree could not be removed and we face the morning with a sigh.

It’s time to go now. Time to shower. Time to shave. Time to put on the best face for the day. In the car we go with the rest of the herd, crawling like ants in hope of sugar. It’s why people waste their money on the lottery and push their kids to be rock stars, the hope to be free of it all.

It’s a sign, too, that we were designed for something better and there is a place for us yet to go. The traces of Eden and the hope of heaven have not left us. They are instinctual, primal, and basic. They are why we sigh in the morning, fall into restless sleep at night, and think about what could have been on gray rainy mornings.

I Cherish…

the gift of the sun, its warmth, its brightness, is length in this season. Gray is common in Minnesota. Cold is as well. All sorts of foul weather make their presence known here where the plains and woods meet and we live in their swirling dance.

A day with sun, calm, bright, warm, and full of a kind of natural graciousness is a gift. A string of those days is more than we can ask. For those of us pale and weary from cold winds, leaden skies, and various precipitations they are signal that there may be, in fact, a heaven. Presuming we make it we’ll be sure when we see the forecast, sunny and pleasant, well, forever.

The clouds are rolling in again this morning. Pity. We’ll say,  as Minnesotans often do, “We need the moisture.” Its our way of rationalizing the whole thing rather than just packing up and moving. We actually remember pleasant days in these parts, they’re conversations starters, even with strangers, because its our common bond. Yesterday was one of them and now I’ll at least have something to talk about on the elevator ride.

“Wasn’t yesterday great?” “Yes” “I could sure use a few more days like that.” “Me, too.” And then its off to work.

 

A Must Read…

Just once, I’d like to see a TV interview go more like this:

Host: You are a Christian pastor, and you say you believe the Bible, which means you are supposed to love all people.

Pastor: That’s right.

Host: But it appears to me that you and your church take a rather unloving position when it comes to gay people. Are homosexuals welcome to come to your church?

Pastor: Of course. We believe that the gospel is a message relevant for every person on the planet, and we want everyone to hear the gospel and find salvation in Jesus Christ. So at our church, our arms are outstretched to people from every background, every race, every ethnicity and culture. We’re a place for all kinds of sinners and people with all kinds of problems.

Host: But you said there, “We’re a place for sinners.” So you do believe that homosexuality is sinful, right?

Pastor: Yes, I do.

Host: So how do you reconcile the command to love all people with a position on homosexuality that some would say is radically intolerant?

Pastor: (smiling) If you think my position on homosexuality is radical, just wait until you hear what else I believe! I believe that a teenage guy and girl who have sex in the backseat of a pick-up are sinning. The unmarried heterosexual couple living down the street from me is sinning. In fact, any sexual activity that takes place outside of the marriage covenant between a husband and wife is sinful. What’s more, Jesus takes this sexual ethic a step further and goes to the heart of the matter. That means that any time I even lust after someone else, I am sinning. Jesus’ radical view of sexuality shows all of us up as sexual sinners, and that’s why He came to die. Jesus died to save lustful, homo- and heterosexual sinners and transform our hearts and minds and behavior. Because He died for me, I owe Him my all. And as a follower of Jesus, I’m bound to what He says about sex and morality.

Read the rest here

Wise Thoughts…

…”How is it that I think and do things that I don’t want or desire to think or do”? I answered that everyone is that way, and so forth. Therefore, the more one conquers himself, the greater the reward that he will receive there in eternity. This is the Christian’s most essential duty, and for this one needs God’s help, which is received through prayer…

St. Innocent of Alaska

32 Years Ago…

today I was tossed in the back of a White Bear Lake, MN, squad car and hauled off to Ramsey County Detox. I was depressed, lonely, afraid, angry, and medicating my world with beer.

It was a hard time. Hard to hear my friend say he wouldn’t take me in and my parents say they didn’t want me at home either. There were so many questions and so few answers. There was trouble and very few safe places for refuge. There was so much to learn but it looked like time was short.  I was hurting people and hurting myself. All I wanted was to have my mind and heart and soul be at rest for just a minute and drinking was as close to that as I could get.

God knows that I wouldn’t want to do all those days over again and God also knew they were necessary if anything good was going to come of me. The first thing that had to go was the drinking. It was like pouring gas on a fire. Then each year unfolded and I learned more and grew more and somehow have made it to today. Outside of things related to the Eucharist I haven’t had anything to drink for 32 years today.

The glory is all God’s. His was the grace the unraveled my knots and continues to do so. His was the love that sustained and showed itself to me in all the people who came to my aid. His was the peace that helped me through some very hard valleys. His was the life that would not let me go, even when I wanted to die.

My being a Priest is, in part, something I felt I needed to do, a service of gratitude for a life that was spared from what could have been much worse. Whatever else happens in my life I pray that I will always be faithful to the God who was and is faithful to me in ways I cannot even imagine.

From time to time I’ve thought about what it would be like to lift  that beer or crack open a bottle. Sometimes when I’m tired and frustrated I just want to erase my mind with the stuff.  Yet I’ve got better things to live for, higher goals to attempt, and a home with the Lord who loves me at the end of it all.  This helps me through. This makes it all worthwhile.

No looking back. It’s all good. Thank you God. Thank you family. Thank you friends. I’m alive, more alive now than I’ve ever been and it’s getting better each day.

And the joy…

Long My Imprisoned Spirit Lay,
fast Bound In Sin and Nature?s Night;
thine Eye Diffused A Quickening Ray;
I Woke, The Dungeon Flamed With Light;
my Chains Fell Off, My Heart Was Free,
I Rose, Went Forth, And Followed Thee.
my Chains Fell Off, My Heart Was Free,
I Rose, Went Forth, And Followed Thee.

Wisdom…

Faith and love which are gifts of the Holy Spirit are such great
and powerful means that a person who has them can easily, and with
joy and consolation, go the way Jesus Christ went. Besides this,
the Holy Spirit gives man the power to resist the delusions of the
world so that although he makes use of earthly good, yet he uses
them as a temporary visitor, without attaching his heart to them.
But a man who has not got the Holy Spirit, despite all his
learning and prudence, is always more or less a slave and
worshiper of the world.

St. Innocent of Irkutsk, Indication of the Way into the Kingdom of
Heaven.

Wisdom…

Every day you provide your bodies with good to keep them from
failing. In the same way your good works should be the daily
nourishment of your hearts. Your bodies are fed with food and your
spirits with good works. You aren’t to deny your soul, which is
going to live forever, what you grant to your body, which is going
to die.

St. Gregory the Great